I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
