Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
