If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize