I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
how does that bad decision feel?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
