Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
