So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
