Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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