All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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