so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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