Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A+ Viking dick
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
