...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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