I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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