it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
