I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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