A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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