and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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