Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
