Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize