My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
