It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
