Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
