alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
