grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
