we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
