I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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