i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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