next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize