I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize