she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
