She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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