Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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