Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Are we still banned from the library?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
