Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
