The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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