I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I need moral support for this bender
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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