Acid is not a monday night drug
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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