ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
