dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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