do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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