Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
