The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize