This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
