K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
