It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
