sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
