I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
