are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
