why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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