I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
