This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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