He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
