yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
