i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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