So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
