I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
