I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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