Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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