Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize