My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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