Will you blow on my dice?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize