you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
