dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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