There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
