my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
