Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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