When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
