I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
