Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
